I'll admit. I've been a bad blogger recently. I've been struggling with some homesickness/real sickness that has kind of made life here not something I felt like writing about. Sorry, I'll try to be better.
Today I experienced something wonderful! Something that I am used to having almost daily, something which gives life and takes away life (everything has pros and cons, folks) and mostly, gets things wet.
To you Northwesters, this probably sounds crazy, because it rains all the time there and what's the big deal about rain? And to you non-Northwesters, this also probably sounds crazy, because who likes rain!? Turns out, I do. it never rains here. Sure, it rained once or twice in October, but I didn't miss rain then. We also had a lot of snow, which is precipitation but of the wrong kind (it's too cold).
I opened my windows at 4PM to see the glorious sight of rain falling into the courtyard (I should mention that I've been ill and bedridden since Tuesday afternoon - standing is difficult. Also, this could have added to my delirium). I immediately donned my raincoat and headed out the door.
I had forgotten what cars and footsteps sound like in the rain, heavier and snappier. I had forgotten how rain strengthens all scents, making mud smell muddier, cigarettes smell cigarette-ier and Indian food smell Indian food-ier (who knew that was possible?!). It's the smell of waking up, of life, of spring! Feeling my cheek, rain makes me wonder if I'm crying, while also making me feel like I've just stepped out of a shower. It's confusing and wonderful and reminds me of home.
I talk about Seattle a lot in my schools, because no one's ever heard of Portland, and everyone's heard of Sleepless in Seattle or Grey's Anatomy. Both show a lot of rainy scenes of Seattle, and it's true, it does rain a lot. But it's not the rainiest city in the US, apparently, even though we like to brag that it is "the Rainy City". I guess it just rains... often. Anyway, like I said, I've been dealing with some homesickness lately. The weather has been lovely (rain, yes, but also lots of sun and warmth!) and I've done interesting things but I'm finding myself ready to return home. I guess it's that kind of lull in the year where I can see the end but it's just far enough out of reach where I can't comprehend what it's going to feel like. I'm pretty tired of struggling with Austrian-German and am looking forward to a time where I feel comfortable and not like an outsider. But I guess that's part of the big lessons of this year - learning how to keep myself happy, learning how to be okay with being a bit unhappy, and most of all learning patience. Which, unfortunately, can only be learned very slowly.